guilt mongers

Guilt Mongers

Why are middleclass people so daft, believing in
all sorts of this and that diets, when we all know
to slim, one has to eat less and walk a bit more.
But no, that’s not good enough, the diet has to have
a name, consists of yogurt, pineapple, and pushed
by someone famous and so unhappily starved that
they beat up their maid. Muesli, this dreadful
concoction of dried fruit and oats, it’s food for horses
not for man, yet it appears on every breakfast table
in the land to make no one goes to work with a smile.
A glass of wine a day is sliming, it’s said, what rot!
I drink a bottle a day, haven’t lost a gram. It isn’t your
fault that you are middleclass boring, stop worrying
about it, go fry an egg, or two for breakfast.